Ariana Grande has broken her silence one week after her ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller, died of an apparent overdose.
Grande posted a video of Miller apparently telling a story, then pausing to say "baby" and reach towards the camera. The singer herself can be heard giggling behind the camera and saying, "It's for me. It makes me happy."
"I adored you from the day I met you when I was 19 and I always will," she wrote in the caption on Instagram.
"I can't believe you aren't here anymore. I really can't wrap my head around it," she continued. "I'm so mad, I'm so sad I don't know what to do. … I'm so sorry I couldn't fix or take your pain away. I really wanted to."
Grande also called Miller her "dearest friend" and "the kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved."
"I hope you're OK now," she wrote at the end of the post. "Rest."
Grande had previously posted a captionless photo of Miller, two days after the news broke about his death. She had not posted anything on social media in between.
Grande and Miller met in 2012 and became close friends. They collaborated on Grande's debut single in 2013, "The Way," and Miller's 2016 track "My Favorite Part." They confirmed their romantic relationship shortly before the latter was released and dated for two years before announcing their split in May.
Miller had struggled with addiction and mental illness for many years, and Grande had publicly said that their relationship was "toxic."
While critics were quick to place blame on Grande for Miller's death, a close friend of the rapper recently came to her defense, claiming that there "could not have been anybody more supportive of him" than she was.
Radio host Shane Powers said on his podcast, "The Shane Show," on Monday that Miller had struggled with alcohol and substance abuse, and that Grande was "an unbelievably stabilizing force" in his life.
"She was a f---ing G to him. There could not have been anybody more supportive of him being sober than Ariana," Powers said. "This little girl was unbelievably involved and helpful to him being healthy."
If you are struggling with addiction and want to seek treatment, call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's free, national, 24/7 helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
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