I barreled down New Mexico State Road 150 in a Ram ProMaster.
Just as I reached Taos, New Mexico, the curves in the road were familiar, and I recognized brown national forest signs pointing to different campgrounds.
It was familiar for a reason. Five months earlier, I'd spent two nights camping on the same road in Carson National Forest with 10 friends.
This time, though, I was alone. It was my first night on a two-week road trip in a van rented from Native Campervans.
I was testing out van life and figured I'd ease my way into the trip by staying at a familiar campsite.
It was a mistake.
I realized too late that the lack of cell service left me on edge the entire night. An unfamiliar spot with service would've been the smarter choice for night one.
I should've prioritized cell service versus familiarity
I pulled into an empty Cuchillo Del Medio Campground. I looked down at my phone, and it had zero bars.
I expected this. My weekends camping and backpacking in Colorado often involve unsent text messages, unread emails, and no service.
I was prepared for this, too. I had a satellite phone and bear spray. But what I wasn't prepared for was how uneasy I would feel without service.
I shot over a satellite message letting my friends know I had safely arrived at my campsite for the night. Then, I was left with solitude.
I've spent plenty of days alone without service, but I was on edge my first night without the comfort of being able to easily call 911 or a friend. Sure, I could use the satellite phone, but it wasn't the most user-friendly, and I worried about needing to rely on it in an emergency.
Every sound outside rattled me: a loud truck on the road, voices from the campers who arrived later in the night, and branches breaking off a nearby tree. I constantly peeked out the van's windows and checked to see if anyone was lurking at my campsite.
I attempted to fall asleep but never quite reached the deep sleep my body craved.
On the other hand, if I'd had cell service, I'm convinced my mind would've allowed me the REM sleep I needed.
I knew I wanted moments without service, but night one wasn't the right time
A lack of cell service was something I craved with van life. I wanted to be in nature with fewer distractions.
I could read without accidentally winding up on TikTok, journal without needing to reply to a text, and soak in the outdoors without worrying about an unsent email.
It took a couple of days to get comfortable, and peaceful nights filled the rest of my itinerary.
Ultimately, a lack of service made me feel like I was diving headfirst into van life, and I realized too late that I wanted to slowly wade into the experience.
