With childhood screen use up 52% since the pandemic, getting your kids off their iPad might be more important now than ever before.
Screen limits are important because studies have shown that screens work as an "emotional pacifier" that distract kids from feeling difficult emotions, including boredom, according to Anya Kamenetz, the author of "The Art of Screen Time: How Your Family Can Balance Digital Media and Real Life" and a self-described screen time expert,
Too much time online can also stymie conversational skill development and the ability to learn social cues, a trend that's becoming more common, an adolescent psychologist previously told Insider.
"Not just children, but also adults have a tendency to use screens to escape," Kamenetz said. "When your kids are really dependent on screens, it's hard for them to engage in other activities with the family, it's hard for them to try new things."
Part of successful parenting is creating guidelines around screen use, Kamenetz said. But there's no one-size-fits-all rule for screen time, she said, and families must consider their values and lifestyle when creating a plan.
Kamenetz broke down her family's approach to screen time, and the conversations she has with her two daughters, ages 6 and 11, to help parents come up with their own plan.
A screen time expert balances YouTube videos with audiobooks and dancing
Kamenetz waited until her daughters turned two to introduce TV, and only allows them to watch YouTube videos on Saturdays.
Her kids spend roughly 30 minutes on screens during weekdays before and after school, but activities and school work keep them occupied most of the time. If her older daughter spends time with her parents watching TV, Kamenetz counts that as "shared time" rather than screen time.
Even though her kids use screens on Saturday, Kamenetz balances out their weekend screen time with hands-on activities like going to the park, bike-riding, drawing, dancing, reading, and building with toys.
The pandemic caused Kamenetz to slightly shift her rules, since her kids couldn't have play dates or spend as much time doing activities outside their home. "They definitely watched more TV and did more video game playing than I ever would've allowed in any other time," Kamenetz said.
But even with shifting rules, it's important for parents to clearly communicate what the rules are and why they are being implemented. That way, a child won't be confused or angry if a parent agrees to screen use one day but says no the next, she said.
During the pandemic, Kamenetz said her younger daughter relied on slow-paced YouTube videos, and her older daughter began playing Roblox and Minecraft to connect with her friends, as both video games easily allow for multiplayer use.
To keep the kids engaged, Kamenetz put on guided drawing videos and "a lot of audiobooks," which she continues to use.
Kamenetz recently bought her older daughter a phone, since she's going to school on her own. Kamenetz said she's aware of the effect social media might have on her daughter's screen use, but the 11-year-old is still too young for that and primarily uses the phone to message her friends.
Parents should recognize they might make mistakes when it comes to screen time rules, Kamenetz said, and be ready to apologize if they need to.
"Realizing that you're not gonna get a perfect all the time, but hopefully you have a chance to make those repairs when you need to. I think is really important," Kamenetz said.
