Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean on a flight back to Montreal after my 10-day luxury trip to Paris in 2023, I realized I needed to quit my six-figure-salary job as a chief operating officer for a coaching company.
I spent my entire trip bothered by Discord notifications from my team about trivial things.
For five years, I was working more than 60 hours a week, under constant stress, and never had time to cook, so I ended up gaining about 20 pounds a year.
My entire life had become work, and I didn't want to live that way
I wanted to be a person who slept eight hours a night, had hobbies, and paid attention in conversations with the people I cared about.
It's been over a year since I quit, and I'm still in therapy to unpack the mental and emotional damage from that job. I only stayed for as long as I did because I thought that was as good as it'd ever get for me.
I had to take a drastic pay cut after I quit, but I don't regret it
When I left, recruiters weren't chasing after me, even though I have 20 years of marketing and design experience, including in director and C-suite positions. My degrees are in art history and journalism — I'm not your typical Fortune 500 or tech-startup candidate.
I also need to work remotely because of a chronic health condition that makes walking difficult and driving impossible.
After two months of applying to over 150 jobs, I was hired as a general manager in the hospitality industry. I know how lucky I am to have a fully remote job where I can clock out at 4 p.m. and not bring the day's stress with me. I'm also a contract AI-marketing instructor and a freelance writer.
Between these jobs, I only make about a third of my former salary, but I'm a lot happier now. I've found everything I was searching for a year ago and am content with where I am.
My mental peace is worth a lot more than money.
I wasn't willing to spend almost a third of my new salary on rent
At my old job, I didn't think twice about signing a lease on a $1,650-a-month apartment with 18-foot ceilings in Montreal. Before that, I'd paid $2,600 for a smaller, furnished condo in Toronto, so it felt like a deal.
It was my dream apartment, but as soon as I quit, making sure I could pay the rest of my lease became my top priority. When my renewal offer for $1,695 arrived in February, I knew it was time to take a hard look at my priorities: Did I value the humble flex of being able to say I live in a converted textile-factory loft, or did my financial focus need to be elsewhere?
I chose to build up my savings account toward retirement. I started looking for new apartments, but I couldn't find anything that wasn't dingy or old for the amount I was willing to spend. I wasn't willing to move in with a stranger, either.
Moving in with my aunt made sense for both of us
My aunt is my best friend — I think we make the over 30-year age gap work because she's young at heart and I have the hobbies and some of the same physical limitations as someone who's older. We'd lived together for five years before I moved to Toronto in 2020.
She's nearing retirement, which will cut her monthly income by about 50%, and it was stressing her out.
I used to pay about $250 a week for food delivery, $150 a month for cleaning, and $160 a month for Uber rides to and from my aunt's place, which, including rent, brought my basic monthly expenses to about $2,985.
I pay my aunt $500 to rent a room in her condo in the suburbs of Montreal
I also pay our collective grocery and utility bills for another $800 a month, which is about $1,300 total. I save $1,685 monthly, which goes straight into my savings account.
My aunt makes an extra $500, and her monthly expenses have been reduced by about $400. This's almost enough to replace the income she's going to lose when she retires.
We also have a barter system — she cooks and does my laundry, but when we have big expenses, I handle them. I bought a couch when I moved in, and I'm replacing our hot-water tank as soon as it's due for renewal. I hate cooking and laundry, and she gets stressed by these big one-time expenses, so we feel good about the exchange.
I don't regret my choice to move in with her at all, and I have no plans to leave
During the COVID-19 pandemic, my friend group spread across the country, so being completely by myself could be lonely at times.
Living with my aunt helps combat that loneliness and keeps my mental health in a good place. I feel much better about paying rent to my aunt than to a landlord, and it allows us both to put money aside for the future.
Want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at lhaas@bjinnox.com
