"My sister invited us to DC," the text from my boyfriend, Ken, read.
I was scanning an email on Tuesday when I got the message, adjusting to my fourth day of working from home amid the coronavirus pandemic.
He wanted us to leave the next day.
I had planned on staying in New York for the duration of the coronavirus pandemic
Panic had quietly been growing in the city, as businesses adopted mandatory-work-from-home policies and Mayor Bill De Blasio encouraged New Yorkers to stay home as much as possible.
As soon as my company moved to mandatory, indefinite remote work, I started staying home as much as I could to do my part to flatten the virus' curve.
I contemplated going home to Atlanta, Georgia, where my family lives, to ride out the virus, but all of my parents are over 60 and my grandmother is 91. I knew I could have been exposed to the virus just being in New York, or I could be exposed on a plane ride home. My sister in Chicago was also only reachable by plane.
I didn't want to risk unknowingly contracting the virus and giving it to them because they would be high-risk patients. Ken was in the same boat as me, as his parents are over 60 as well.
So I worked from home, and ordered food instead of going out. My hands were cracked from washing them so often. I only left my apartment to go to the grocery store, take a quick walk for fresh air, or to see Ken.
We hadn't seen each other in a few days when his sister's invitation came, as he lives in Brooklyn and I live in Manhattan.
We had been trying to figure out the best way to see one another while practicing social distancing and avoiding putting others at risk.
On the few occasions we did see each other when cases were growing in New York, Ken took the subway and kept hand sanitizer at the ready, and I took a car service to his home while keeping my distance from the driver.
We were following the practices recommended to us by health officials, but we knew we were still taking a risk by trying to be together.
There would come a point where we had to stay away from each other because of the coronavirus
Since we don't live together, staying away from each other would not only have been the right thing for us to do to protect other New Yorkers, but it also would have been mandated.
On Friday, Governor Cuomo issued a "stay at home" order for all of New York, making it so people are only leaving their homes for grocery or pharmacy runs and essential work.
Ken and I didn't know that would happen when his sister's invitation came on Tuesday, but we figured it was only a matter of time until the city made that kind of decision.
The idea of not seeing Ken for an extended period of time gave me palpable anxiety. He's my best friend, able to make me laugh with just a twist of his face.
And since all of my family lives far away, he's my main support system as well, calming me down when I get stressed and making me feel less alone when I'm homesick for them.
I think of him as my home away from home, and although missing my partner is in no way the biggest thing I'm concerned about when it comes to the pandemic, the idea of being separated from him added to the fear I was already having about the impact the coronavirus would have on the world.
So when his sister's invitation came, I was immediately relieved. I knew we were privileged to have the offer to leave at all when so many were trapped in communities being overrun by the virus; thousands of people don't have the option to work remotely, or they don't have family that will welcome them in other cities.
Plus, going somewhere together by car instead of plane felt like a safe solution — we would stop putting others at risk by trying to see each other in the city and could travel with a lower risk of being exposed ourselves.
I wasn't sure if I could say yes to the offer, though, as I have a roommate I was worried about leaving, and I was concerned that my family would feel hurt that I was choosing to go with Ken instead of coming home to them, even though I made that decision to protect them.
I decided to go to DC with Ken, as being with my partner at a time of global crisis felt like what I needed to do
There were a myriad of reasons going to DC felt like the right decision for us.
We weren't risking exposing our parents to the virus; we would have more room to spread out at the house than we would in our apartments; and we wouldn't be putting ourselves and others in danger by trying to see each other as the virus spread in New York.
But the biggest reason to go was to be together.
This experience has made me realize I'm at a point in my life where my partner is my main priority. I want to be able to support Ken as the frightening realities of the pandemic start to take shape.
Already, the pandemic has been proven to take a toll on people's mental health because of the isolation required to help stop the spread of the virus.
And although I'm sure we'll still experience those emotions as we isolate in DC, they will be less painful because we'll have each other.
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