Top Peloton cycling instructor Cody Rigsby wishes people would rush into relationships less and date more intentionally, having previously been in an unaligned relationship himself.
He said that ending that relationship, where his ex wanted to be monogamous while Rigsby wanted to have an open relationship, was painful but worthwhile because it led to more dating clarity. That was six years ago, Rigsby, who is 36, told Insider.
Since then, Rigsby has become known for shouting self-love mantras and relationship advice to fans during his rides. Now, he's preparing to release even more relationship wisdom in his first book, "XOXO, Cody: An Opinionated Homosexual's Guide to Self-Love, Relationships, and Tactful Pettiness," which comes out September 12.
Rigsby told Insider that, historically, his dating life has been "messy" because he was still getting to know himself and what he was looking for in a partner. But that's exactly why he thinks people should trust what he has to say.
"I'm not an expert, and I don't have advice to give because I've always been successful at it. I have advice to give because I've failed and because I've learned from it," Rigsby told Insider during an interview about his partnership with the Solitaire Grand Harvest mobile gaming app.
When it came to ending his relationship six years ago, for example, Rigsby said he learned that love isn't always enough for a healthy bond.
He told Insider that he and his ex were deeply in love, but that they "weren't a match" because fundamentally, they needed different relationship styles to be happy.
In the immediate aftermath of the breakup, Rigsby said experienced "complicated" feelings including sadness, blame, and guilt. There were times he said he wanted to "villainize" his ex, and other times he wanted to blame himself for their relationship ending.
But as time passed, Rigsby said he came to terms with the reality that "you can't change someone and you shouldn't be asking someone to change."
Now, Rigsby often reminds his Peloton students of his own hard-learned lesson, telling them, "I think it's better to accept than to try and change someone," he said.
